After reading this article, I have a greater anxiety of our culture and its effect on little girls.
My heart's desire is to raise a little girl who is secure, confident, smart, and a follower of Christ. But how do I accomplish that when I have my own issues with being a girl? How do you raise a daughter to make better choices than you did? Hopefully, with God's strength and guidance, Brent and I will do exactly that.
Here are a few ideas I gleaned from this - and other - articles on the topic:
More daughter of a King, less Princess
A lot of people don't see any harm in the princess culture. I think it's a personal decision, and you have to do what works for your family. The whole princess phenomenon does not work for us. There is a difference in teaching your daughter that her Father in Heaven is the King and buying her all the princess stuff and dressing/treating her like a princess. The latter is not for me.
Pitch the Pink
Not to say she won't wear pink. I think pink is adorable in moderation. But as she gets older, I want her to experience all the colors. The reason I love the "mismatched" look so much is that it incorporates every color - and each is beautiful and fun! When I worked in the preschool, all the kids always said, "Pink is for girls. Blue is for boys." Every day. I promise.
Why?
I love blue. My eyes are blue. I feel beautiful in blue. Blue is not just for boys.
Play up the Positives
We have a say in interests she develops. No, we can't force her to like certain things, but we can try to show her things that are good and hope she enjoys them. Brent and I talked about things like sports, art, music, Veggie Tales, Little House on the Prairie, kid's devotional Bibles/stories, and American Girls (sans the doll market - just the books). Those are things that if she DOES like them -- GREAT! We can let her run wild with that. If not, we keep looking.
Watching your Words
Little girls listen very early. I have to be especially careful about the things I say about myself. We all have those fat days, bad hair days, no cute clothes days, etc. But I want to try extremely hard to never let my daughter hear me talk about myself or my body in a way that makes her think I don't love how God made me. Even though I will probably continue to feel those things, I want to be careful about how it is presented to her and at what age. There's a time to start talking about those insecurities (like when she gets called a name at school).
A Day with Daddy
I have often told Brent that I think he will be the most influential person in our daughter's life. I know I will have a special bond with my daughter, but there is nothing like the relationship between a father and his daughter. It's where she first learns her value, her worth, her beauty. He teaches her how she should be treated, how she should be loved, why she should be loved. He gives her the first glance into all her future relationships. I will pray for their relationship every day.
Keep Praying!
When Brent and I talk to anyone about this, we always get the same response: "just wait until you have the kid" implying that we'll never be able to hinder these things or have this kind of impression. I choose to believe that with prayer and guidance, we will be able to accomplish exactly what God desires for our family.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Budget Bonanza!
I shared in my last post about some time management tips, and I had a request from my lovely sister over at BLESSED SIMPLICITY to share some specific budgeting advice (which I only touched on previously).
A Basic Outline
The first thing you need is a skeleton to help guide you through the budgeting process. I really like Crown Financial Ministries website. 1. It's a Christian perspective on budgeting - so they talk about the responsibility to tithe and such. 2. They offer a lot of free downloads HERE. I recently revised our budget using the Family of Four (which actually includes a family of three) since we've found out we're expecting.
Putting in the Details
Now that you have a basic outline of what percentage should be in each area, you can plug in your own numbers to get a dollar amount that you should allocate to each area. You can - of course - make your own changes and adjustments. For instance, we don't really have debt so we use that money elsewhere.
Excel Excellence
The next step for me was making an Excel spreadsheet because, let's face it, I LOVE Excel. You can ask my boss. I start with what we should be spending in the first columns, and then I add a new column each month and put in what we actually spend. I do this by putting every receipt/bill/etc. into the spreadsheet. I utilize the comment function to make notes to myself (for instance when we pay car insurance bills I always put which car that bill is for so we know for later).
Here is a blacked-out version of our monthly budget GOALS. I then have this with each month added next to it where I input actual spending.
Adjusting for You!
Finally, after a few months of putting in what we actually spend, Brent and I sit down and adjust our numbers if we need to. It might show us we are spending too much money in one area or that we don't spend near what we thought in another area and can move it around accordingly.
There you go! Feel free to contact me if you have any specific questions to your own budget. I'd love to help!
Budget away!
A Basic Outline
The first thing you need is a skeleton to help guide you through the budgeting process. I really like Crown Financial Ministries website. 1. It's a Christian perspective on budgeting - so they talk about the responsibility to tithe and such. 2. They offer a lot of free downloads HERE. I recently revised our budget using the Family of Four (which actually includes a family of three) since we've found out we're expecting.
Putting in the Details
Now that you have a basic outline of what percentage should be in each area, you can plug in your own numbers to get a dollar amount that you should allocate to each area. You can - of course - make your own changes and adjustments. For instance, we don't really have debt so we use that money elsewhere.
Excel Excellence
The next step for me was making an Excel spreadsheet because, let's face it, I LOVE Excel. You can ask my boss. I start with what we should be spending in the first columns, and then I add a new column each month and put in what we actually spend. I do this by putting every receipt/bill/etc. into the spreadsheet. I utilize the comment function to make notes to myself (for instance when we pay car insurance bills I always put which car that bill is for so we know for later).
Here is a blacked-out version of our monthly budget GOALS. I then have this with each month added next to it where I input actual spending.
Adjusting for You!
Finally, after a few months of putting in what we actually spend, Brent and I sit down and adjust our numbers if we need to. It might show us we are spending too much money in one area or that we don't spend near what we thought in another area and can move it around accordingly.
There you go! Feel free to contact me if you have any specific questions to your own budget. I'd love to help!
Budget away!
Time Management Tips
I've always been pretty good at using my time well. I'm almost organizational to a fault. I have learned to relax a little, but I enjoy things being in their place ... and feeling like I go to bed having had a productive day.
So - if there's a chance you want to ramp up your time management - here's what helps me:
♥ A Small Notepad ♥
I keep this in my purse, and it is where I keep my to-do list, my meal planning ideas, and any random thoughts or ideas (which happens A LOT).
♥ To-Do Lists ♥
I make a list each morning of things I want to accomplish by the end of the day - usually in the order I will try to do them. When I cross them off, I move on to the next task. I find it keeps me from sitting down on the couch to "think about what I should be doing," which usually leads to turning on the TV, snacking, and wasting time. If I don't cross it off, I keep it on the list for the next day. No guilt.
Today's Example To-Do List:
√ Grocery Shop
√ Laundry
√ Unload the dishwasher
√ Dinner: Chicken and lemon-basil pasta
√ Pack lunches
√ Quiet time
√ Bones on TV (8pm!) - can't leave that out
√ Work Out
♥ Meal Planning ♥
I take notes in my notepad for meal ideas for two weeks (I try to grocery shop for two weeks at a time, but you can do one ... three ... four ... whatever!). Then I have a weekly, dry-erase calendar on my fridge where I post our meals for the week. This is actually really helpful because if I know what I need for dinner, I can set it out in the morning. I found early on that if I came home tired from work and had no clue what to fix for dinner, we ate out A TON - or ate junk. It also helps because I use my two-week plan to make a grocery list. I get the stuff we need, and it cuts down a lot on wasting food and grabbing junk off the shelves because it looks good. This also helps because Brent can see when it's his turn to make dinner. I just write it on the calendar, and he knows that Friday he's making Schnitzel!
♥ Budgeting ♥
I keep an extremely detailed budget because I'm an extremely detailed person. If that's not your flavor, do something more basic! But I have found that if I know what I am spending my money on, I don't feel guilty about splurging in some areas, or I know that it's time to reign it in. For instance, when eating out money starts to near our monthly allowance, I know it's time to stop suggesting McDonald's for dinner.
♥ Cleaning/Chores ♥
I try to put one or two chores/cleaning tasks on my to-do list each day (unless I'm super busy that evening). I don't like getting up Saturday and feeling like I have to spend the whole day cleaning. I'd rather do one thing each night, and enjoy my Saturday.
♥ Prayer ♥
God is the ultimate keeper of our time. Our productivity during the day is a reflection of the things we care about. Pray for effective use of your time so that you can spend more time on the things you love: quiet time with God, your family, your friends, etc.
Happy Multi-Tasking!
So - if there's a chance you want to ramp up your time management - here's what helps me:
♥ A Small Notepad ♥
I keep this in my purse, and it is where I keep my to-do list, my meal planning ideas, and any random thoughts or ideas (which happens A LOT).
♥ To-Do Lists ♥
I make a list each morning of things I want to accomplish by the end of the day - usually in the order I will try to do them. When I cross them off, I move on to the next task. I find it keeps me from sitting down on the couch to "think about what I should be doing," which usually leads to turning on the TV, snacking, and wasting time. If I don't cross it off, I keep it on the list for the next day. No guilt.
Today's Example To-Do List:
√ Grocery Shop
√ Laundry
√ Unload the dishwasher
√ Dinner: Chicken and lemon-basil pasta
√ Pack lunches
√ Quiet time
√ Bones on TV (8pm!) - can't leave that out
√ Work Out
♥ Meal Planning ♥
I take notes in my notepad for meal ideas for two weeks (I try to grocery shop for two weeks at a time, but you can do one ... three ... four ... whatever!). Then I have a weekly, dry-erase calendar on my fridge where I post our meals for the week. This is actually really helpful because if I know what I need for dinner, I can set it out in the morning. I found early on that if I came home tired from work and had no clue what to fix for dinner, we ate out A TON - or ate junk. It also helps because I use my two-week plan to make a grocery list. I get the stuff we need, and it cuts down a lot on wasting food and grabbing junk off the shelves because it looks good. This also helps because Brent can see when it's his turn to make dinner. I just write it on the calendar, and he knows that Friday he's making Schnitzel!
♥ Budgeting ♥
I keep an extremely detailed budget because I'm an extremely detailed person. If that's not your flavor, do something more basic! But I have found that if I know what I am spending my money on, I don't feel guilty about splurging in some areas, or I know that it's time to reign it in. For instance, when eating out money starts to near our monthly allowance, I know it's time to stop suggesting McDonald's for dinner.
♥ Cleaning/Chores ♥
I try to put one or two chores/cleaning tasks on my to-do list each day (unless I'm super busy that evening). I don't like getting up Saturday and feeling like I have to spend the whole day cleaning. I'd rather do one thing each night, and enjoy my Saturday.
♥ Prayer ♥
God is the ultimate keeper of our time. Our productivity during the day is a reflection of the things we care about. Pray for effective use of your time so that you can spend more time on the things you love: quiet time with God, your family, your friends, etc.
Happy Multi-Tasking!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Missing Out?
I had eight hours this past weekend in the car to think. I set my cruise control and let my mind wander for the duration of the trip (if you've ever driven to Indy via 70 you know it doesn't take much thought to get there).
While I was jamming to my iPOD playlist (called "That's My Jam!"), I started to think about something:
I've often been asked this question, "You devote all this time and energy to learning about God and reading your Bible and 'being a good Christian.' Well, what if you're wrong about everything? What if you die and find out there's no God? What if we all really just die, and we're gone; or we turn into dung beetles?"
What if I'm wrong?
That's a great question to pose.
Here's my answer ...
So what.
So what if I'm wrong? What did I miss out on by living my life with faith that God is real? Do people think my life is without fun and happiness because I try to live by God's standards? Because - to be honest - I can't remember the last time a day passed without Brent and me dancing around our house, singing silly songs, playing games, having good discussions, and on and on. Do we have days where we argue? Sure. Of course. But more often than not, it's resolved quickly, and we still find time to talk to each other in our many accents and make each other laugh.
So, I die. *sniff*
I find out God's not real. *sniff sniff*
Do I regret how I lived my life?
Not one bit.
I think the question I would pose to those who think I'm crazy to believe in God is, "What if I'm right?"
While I was jamming to my iPOD playlist (called "That's My Jam!"), I started to think about something:
I've often been asked this question, "You devote all this time and energy to learning about God and reading your Bible and 'being a good Christian.' Well, what if you're wrong about everything? What if you die and find out there's no God? What if we all really just die, and we're gone; or we turn into dung beetles?"
What if I'm wrong?
That's a great question to pose.
Here's my answer ...
So what.
So what if I'm wrong? What did I miss out on by living my life with faith that God is real? Do people think my life is without fun and happiness because I try to live by God's standards? Because - to be honest - I can't remember the last time a day passed without Brent and me dancing around our house, singing silly songs, playing games, having good discussions, and on and on. Do we have days where we argue? Sure. Of course. But more often than not, it's resolved quickly, and we still find time to talk to each other in our many accents and make each other laugh.
So, I die. *sniff*
I find out God's not real. *sniff sniff*
Do I regret how I lived my life?
Not one bit.
I think the question I would pose to those who think I'm crazy to believe in God is, "What if I'm right?"
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Delving into Proverbs 31
I started our new study today on Proverbs 31 ("Discovering the Treasures of a Godly Woman: Proverbs 31" by Elizabeth George). I am really excited about it because it is a lot of studying the Bible on a daily basis, which is exactly what I wanted! I would consider it similar to a precept - but maybe not AS in depth? We'll see though - it's only been one day.
My prayer for this study is that I get used to a daily time of devotion with God ... and that I work on a couple of the key traits of being a woman of excellence - as defined by God Himself in Proverbs 31.
I desire to be excellent in God's eyes!
My prayer for this study is that I get used to a daily time of devotion with God ... and that I work on a couple of the key traits of being a woman of excellence - as defined by God Himself in Proverbs 31.
I desire to be excellent in God's eyes!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Wednesday Wants ...
- Butterfingers.
- A Happy Meal.
- A new issue of Better Homes & Gardens (with a focus more on HOMES than GARDENS).
- A fireplace that works ... but doesn't cost $500 to make work.
- Vegan chocolate chip muffins.
- An indoor pool to swim in.
- An ice-cold Coke.
- A device that puts my shoes and socks on for me.
- A Happy Meal.
- A new issue of Better Homes & Gardens (with a focus more on HOMES than GARDENS).
- A fireplace that works ... but doesn't cost $500 to make work.
- Vegan chocolate chip muffins.
- An indoor pool to swim in.
- An ice-cold Coke.
- A device that puts my shoes and socks on for me.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Rocky Road & Ecclesiastes
"I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God." Ecclesiastes 3:12-13
While visiting my sister this past weekend, I had the opportunity to visit her church. I had a great time being a part of her Sunday school class, and I learned something from the last lesson of her study.
It was on Ecclesiastes - which I think would be an amazing study.
The speaker had about 12 "sum it up" points to make, but one struck a chord. He said that God wants us to: "Enjoy Life."
Who would have thought part of loving and obeying God would be enjoying life? That seems way too easy! But he went on to challenge us to look at the things that we enjoy and make sure they are worthy of us enjoying them. That was powerful for me. I started thinking about the things that I enjoy, and I was convicted by some. I love conviction because it usually brings change that matures me and betters me.
So - my challenge is to look at the things you enjoy and make sure even those things honor God.
BUT - my challenge is also to enjoy life! Take time to do things that you enjoy - that bring you happiness. Whether that is Rocky Road ice cream in bed or long runs in the park with your dog - do what you love sometimes! That was the challenge I left my sister with when I left, and that is the challenge I leave you with too. Enjoying life is a "gift of God."
While visiting my sister this past weekend, I had the opportunity to visit her church. I had a great time being a part of her Sunday school class, and I learned something from the last lesson of her study.
It was on Ecclesiastes - which I think would be an amazing study.
The speaker had about 12 "sum it up" points to make, but one struck a chord. He said that God wants us to: "Enjoy Life."
Who would have thought part of loving and obeying God would be enjoying life? That seems way too easy! But he went on to challenge us to look at the things that we enjoy and make sure they are worthy of us enjoying them. That was powerful for me. I started thinking about the things that I enjoy, and I was convicted by some. I love conviction because it usually brings change that matures me and betters me.
So - my challenge is to look at the things you enjoy and make sure even those things honor God.
BUT - my challenge is also to enjoy life! Take time to do things that you enjoy - that bring you happiness. Whether that is Rocky Road ice cream in bed or long runs in the park with your dog - do what you love sometimes! That was the challenge I left my sister with when I left, and that is the challenge I leave you with too. Enjoying life is a "gift of God."
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