Dear Bree,

I know you are very busy soaking up everyone's attention. That must be a rough life you have. I remember when it used to be mine. You know me, I am the one under the blanket on the couch. You always rip my blanket off me and laugh. I don't think it's funny.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I have made my peace with you being here. But please stop chasing me while I eat or taking my food from me. Our parents might think it's funny to watch you eat my food, but I dont. In the wild, that calls for acts of aggression. But when I try, you know who comes to your aide, and I get in trouble. I don't know why it's my fault. But it always is.

Also, I know my legs, eyes, ears, mouth, head, and fur LOOK like toys - but they're not. They are necessary to my survival, even if dad says otherwise. So please stop pulling, pinching, grabbing, or squeezing them. I don't like it. I would retaliate, but, as previously mentioned, you would only be rescued and I: in trouble.

I hear mom and dad talking about more of you. I surely hope not. One of you is enough.

I can only imagine I have a few good years left, anyway. They hardly ever remember to give me water and food each morning. They are too busy doting on you. Just let me live in peace under my blanket. Please.

Love,
Giselle

P.S. I will disregard all animosity if you start dropping food on the floor "accidentally" during meals. They think it's cute. I get food. We all win. Think about it.