Square One?

I have felt completely overwhelmed these past four months. Just when I thought I was getting a handle on wifehood, Bree enters the picture. Most days I feel disorganized, disheveled, and disappointed with my performance in both my roles. I feel like I am failing as a mom and as a wife. So is it back to square one? Worse than that, I'm not even at square one! What's before square one, you ask?

Learning to play the game.

That's exactly where I am at again. Learning to play this game of motherhood and wifehood, together.

I have to relearn how to schedule my time. I have to relearn how to prioritize. I have to relearn what free time looks like and how I use it. I have to squeeze in showers, reading, and blogging. I need a daily plan. But most of all ...

I need Jesus.

God Almighty is the only way I will be able to succeed because I absolutely cannot do this on my own. I don't have the wisdom, energy, or patience needed to accomplish such a task. Because I don't just want to be a good mom or a good wife. I want to be an awesome mom and an awesome wife - but more importantly, I want to be a Godly woman.

I want to be clothed in dignity and grace. I want to bind love and faithfulness around my neck and write them on my heart.

I find encouragement from the wife of noble character in Proverbs 31 and pray that God would make me more like her and Him each day.

 10 A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.