First Steps

No, Bree is not already taking her first steps. She doesn't even know she has feet yet. But my first steps as her mom are to release her daily into God's watchful protection. Many new moms fear constantly about their new baby. Some things are realistic, some are completely crazy (but it makes sense to them at the time).

I have not struggled with this too severely, but I think it is because I had to give Bree to the Lord a long time ago, before I even knew her. After I got home from Africa, we found out I was pregnant. I was nervous everyday. I prayed that she wouldn't be affected by the drugs and vaccines I had received. With each passing month I had to continue to give her to the Lord. She was in His hands.

Now that she is here, I have to continue to do that.

My first devotion on praying for your child was exactly that: releasing my child into God's hands.

"We cannot be everywhere. But God can. We cannot see everything. But God can. We cannot know everything. But God can. Releasing them into God's hands is a sign of faith and trust in Him."

How foolish of us to think we love our child the most. God surely cares for them as much - or more - than we do. Whenever fear strikes my heart about Bree, I will take it as a cue to pray until I feel peace. If I do not feel peace, I will enlist the help of others to pray, as well. Giving her to God must be a daily choice, and by putting God in charge ... That takes a lot of pressure off me. And parenting becomes much more enjoyable.

Beauty Revealed

My first real lesson from my new quiet time routine (see Previous post) was in the area of wifehood. The first part of praying for your husband actually started by praying for yourself, his wife. Weird, but okay. I was awestruck by this quote:

"You will be expected to be sexually appealing, a good cook, a great mother, and physically, emotionally, and spiritually fit."

I think all too often we try to do these things in our own power, and it is absolutely impossible. I think it is completely fine to enlist God's help in these areas. But the one I want to address specifically is the appealing one. There has to be some effort on our own part made to keep ourselves attractive to our husbands. I am not saying anything like cosmetic surgery is ever warranted, but like Queen Esther, who beautified herself for a year before going to see the king, we need to make the effort.

I often find myself wondering, does Brent still find me attractive? My devotional posed this question in response to that thought:

"What am I doing to make myself attractive to my husband? Do I keep myself clean and smelling good? Do I see that my internal self is cleansed and rejuvenated with regular exercise? Do I preserve my strength and vitality with a healthful diet? Do I dress attractively? And most important: do I spend time alone with God every day? I guarantee that the more time you spend with the Lord, the more radiant you will become (Proverbs 31:30). You can't afford not to make this investment in yourself ... It is not selfish to do it. It is selfish not to do it."

I would say that is fairly convicting, but I think it is definitely timely for me right now. I have been dealing with a new body since I had Bree. I call it my 'mom' body. While I have put time and effort into getting back to my original weight, and because I have made an effort to eat healthy and get moving, I achieved that goal weeks ago. However, things may never be exactly how they used to be, but I am learning that it does not make it less beautiful, or me less beautiful to Brent.

My beauty and radiance ultimately come from time spent with the Lord and my relationship with Him. I can make the effort to do what I can to maintain a healthy body, but my heart for the Lord is what shines outward and beautifies me.

Where have I been?

Hello, blog. I have missed you.

The past month has been a blur of feeding, crying, and changing diapers. Things are starting to settle down a bit, and I am learning Bree a little more each day. Praise the Lord.

Spiritually, things have been a little dry for me these past two months. I recently went to the bookstore to find something I can do on my own this summer to refresh my relationship with God.

I chose an awesome three-book compilation. It is The Power of the Praying Wife, Parent, and Woman. I have already started the prayer journey, and it has been amazing. I will start posting some of my reflection tomorrow - if Bree allows me to.

I start by reading one chapter in the morning about praying for Brent, and then I pray for him. At lunch, I read a chapter about praying for children, and then I pray for Bree. I have not started the 'woman' section yet. But tonight, I will start that as well. So in the evening I will read a chapter about womanhood, and then pray for myself.

My goal for this summer is to really grow in my prayer life. It is so astronomically important. I have already felt God moving in my life. When something comes to mind, rather than worry about it, I just start praying. So hopefully I continue to develop good prayer habits.

Please hold me accountable to this. You can even let me know if I can pray for you, and I will!

Life after Baby

I've been home for two weeks today. It seems forever ago that I was sitting in the hospital bed sporting those awesome - yet drafty - gowns. While the road to recovery has been filled with tears and pain, I am reminded of the gift that came with them when I look into Bree's eyes.

I'm adjusting to motherhood. I have great days, and I have hard days. It's hardest feeling trapped in my house. I have 4 weeks remaining of "abdominal rest" which means no lifting still ...

I miss doing laundry ... and mopping. How sad is that?

But I love my little family.