Resolutions Revisted

So, as December fast approaches, I need to make sure I am working on my yearly goals. So here's an update:

Physical: Obviously ... I would like to return to my pre-pregnancy weight in 2011 (preferably sooner rather than later), but that sounds too easy so I would like to add a challenge to run a marathon. I'm not a runner. I actually hate running. But running a marathon has always been something I'd like to accomplish. I don't know why. That's pretty lofty for me. UPDATE: I have actually surpassed my pre-pregnancy weight. My favorite jeans from college are actually one of my favorites again. I am also signed up for a 5K in October (yes, that is a marathon to me).

Spiritual: Obviously ... I should be reading my Bible each day. But let's be honest, I don't. I'm going to work on that, but my goal is to read the Bible in its entirety. There are certain books I've never read ... so I want to have read every book of the Bible by the end of the year. UPDATE: Doing fairly well, I have started a Bible study on Revelation, but I need to do some of the lesser-known Old Testament books.

Emotional: This is probably harder for me than thinking about running a marathon, but my big "heart" goal is to really try to work on taking criticism. It's never been a strong suit, and I'd really like to work on that. This isn't really a measurable goal, but we'll try it. UPDATE: I would say accomplished. As previously posted, people tell me I look tired all the time, and it would have used to upset me. Now, I don't care. I am tired. I do look a mess. It's a phase, and hopefully it will pass soon.

Mental/Educational: I'd like to read more (whaaat?). I know - let me explain! I'd like to read 12 books (one a month) that ARE NOT Christian fiction. Some might be classics that I've never read/finished. Some might be memoirs from people. Basically anything but Karen Kingsbury or Francine Rivers. :) UPDATE: Not doing so hot here. I have read The Giver and Crazy Love - but so far, that's it (besides a ton of baby books).

McDonalds Mayhem

Below is an actual conversation I had with the cashier at McDonalds (at the drive-through), with my thoughts added.


After reviewing my order at the window ...

Him: How old is the baby?

Me: 4 months (No, the happy meal isn't for her, it's for me. Don't judge me).

Him: Is she yours?

Me: Every day (no, I stole her and stopped to get a happy meal before we flee the state).

Him: Wow, you don't look old enough to have a baby.

Me: I get that a lot (But apparently I look too old for a happy meal, ironic).


Next time, just give me my delicious food, McDonalds man.

I'm an Expert ...

I had a great discussion with my table at MOPS this morning. The message couldn't have been more timely. It was about decision making (see earlier post on how my decision making skills are going).

But I was encouraged by their overall message to me that babies are resilient.

Let's be honest: none of the baby books say that.

They all say to do it their way or all these bad things will happen ... or another book says to do it THEIR way or all THESE bad things will happen.

So what they are both saying is that bad things will happen - no matter which choice I make.

And that is terrifying to a new mom who is trying to make all the "right" choices.

I am learning to start by doing what feels right for us ... because, as a great friend told me, I am the expert on Bree.

A Baby Blues Morning

As I sit down to a quiet lunch with Giselle, consisting of cold milk and a PBJ, it is anything but quiet in my head.

Since I have brought Bree home, I have consistently felt like I am doing a poor job as a mom.

Every minute of every day I am constantly wondering how I should be doing things, when I should be doing things, what I should and should not be doing. I Google every question. I poll every friend or relative I have. I research and research. I make lists. I read books. I pray, no I beg God for wisdom.

I love her so much. I want to do everything right for her.

I pretend like I have it all together, but each day I sit in her nursery, watch her sleep, and cry.

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know how you learn. I feel like I am doing everything wrong.

Naps. Bedtime. Nap routines. Bedtime routines. Pacifiers. Solid foods. Schedules. Swaddling. Rocking. Bouncing.

Everything I do seems inadequete except one ...

Nursing.

Nursing is the one thing I love to do, and I am good at doing. It is the only time during the day when she and I sit and enjoy each other - and I don't have any doubts. I know I am doing it right - and well. I love doing it, and I know she loves it.

So right now, I am hanging on to what I am good at to get me through this day.

A Dedication

As Bree's dedication quickly approaches, I find myself overwhelmed with joy and fear.

Joy that we are publicly declaring our trust in the Lord to be with her always and to help us raise her in a way that honors Him.

Fear that we are about to publicly declare our responsibility for her spiritual upbringing.

Doesn't that just seem terrifying? I mean ... we are going to be her role models. We are going to be the first example of Christ's love, sacrifice, grace, and so on.

I need to continue to pray daily for wisdom to do the job justice because it's a big one.

I want Bree to love God more than anything: more than Brent or me, more than herself, more than her desires, even more than Reese Cups.

But for her to do that, Brent and I need to do that. Because kids are imitators. The real work needs to happen in our lives first, and the ripple effect with be positive in Bree's life.

Pray for us, please and thank you!

Lessons and Accomplishments of Late

I can now recite almost the entire movie of Megamind from memory, which I did last night in bed with Brent. Until he finally told me to stop talking and go to sleep. I think he's jealous.

I have learned DIY really should be NGD - never gets done.

I can now walk to Target each morning and browse without buying. It's totally lame, but my budget appreciates then break.

I have learned going to the bathroom without a baby in tow is a thing of the past. You get over the stage fright pretty quick.

I can now shower in 2.5 minutes - sans shaving (you just can't do that fast lest you end up bleeding all over your house).

I have learned 'babies' are something to add to my list of Things Italian Greyhounds Hate - along with the wind, rain, noises, veggies, other dogs, leashes, baby gates, and spoons.

I can now successfully do most daily tasks with one hand. I am working on doing things with my feet because those monkeys have clever ways of doing things when their hands are full. Brent has vetoed any feet touching things from the dishwasher.

I have learned babies really appreciate classic rock - Guns 'n Roses, Ozzie, ACDC, etc.

I can now laugh and agree when someone says 'You look tired' and not cry. Because I am tired, and I appreciate the honesty. Thanks, Mark Patterson.

I have learned my husband is as amazing at being a father as he is being a husband. And that totally rocks - for Bree and me. We are working on his love for Giselle - I mean, no one is perfect.

America's Favorite Verse

You know it.

Say it with me.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

No verse has ever been as quoted as this one. We memorize it. We put it on walls and in frames. We love this verse.

Of course we do, it's all about us.

And we're pretty self-centered (see previous post on our own "awesomeness").

The thing is ... it's a great verse. But we focus on US. If we continue on to verses 12 and 13, we find an even more important message from Christ:

"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (emphasis mine)

We don't just receive. We have responsibility. We have to call on the Lord. We have to come and pray. We have to seek Him.

The next time you think of this verse, remember the role we have to play in it too.

The Bitter Truth

This is a message I heard recently that is contrary to what we've heard pretty much our whole lives - at least for me.

We happen to love ourselves - a lot.

We tend to think, Why wouldn't God love me? Of course he loves me. ... I'm pretty awesome!

Unfortunately, the message of the gospel is there's nothing awesome about me.

We are sinners - from birth to death. Selfish, self-centered, easily angered, unholy, jealous, unloving, unforgiving, ungrateful, and probably a whole lot more ...

God's love for us is based on WHO HE IS and not our awesomeness.

We think we are valuable - which is true. But we aren't loved by God because we're valuable; we are valuable because we're loved by God.

Just let that sink in.

We definitely have value. We just don't have it on our own. We aren't awesome. We aren't perfect - not even close. Christ's love, Christ's birth, Christ's sacrifice for us on the cross - those make us valuable. In Him we find our true value.

Romans 8:38-39
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow — not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below — indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." (emphasis mine)