A Great Quote

"You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

-Anne Lamott

An Experiment in Editing

I was fooling around on Picnik - because I love it. And decided to try and see how different I can make a picture of mine look.

I can click a button and give myself a tan, change my hair color, shred 10 pounds, or erase all my freckles.

Here's my finished experiment:


(Me, circa 2006)
If this is the kind of editing I can do on a free program ... imagine the kind of editing that can be done for professionals - with endless resources.

It's funny because often I wish I looked like the girl on the right. But now, seeing her, I'm glad I don't.

Beauty we see on TV, in magazines, or in the movies is totally unrealistic and completely fake.

Why I Love Adele

I was watching the Grammy's the other night when a beautiful woman walked to the stage.

I'm sure you are thinking: which one?

I had never seen Adele before, but I know Brent loves her music and sings it all the time.

When I saw her, I felt a sigh of relief and encouraged.

She's extremely talented, yes, but more than that she is the most "real" celebrity I have seen in awhile. She looks like a woman I might actually see on the street, an average woman. She was all dolled up, sure, but she looked natural. Like herself. She didn't seem like she was trying to fit the cultural perception of celebrity (funky hair and clothes, tiny body, flawless face and skin). She looked like a real person.

And I like real people.

So I like Adele.

Age is Just a Number, Baby.

If you know where that quote is from, this post is for you.

I've recently been trying to fit into shoes much too big for me, which is ironic because as a kid I always scrunched into shoes much too small for me (my older sister's - who did not have monster feet like I do).

I digress ... I thought having a kid meant I had to grow up.

And I do have to in a lot of ways. A LOT.

But lately, I have been feeling so "off" and not myself at all. I find myself constantly looking to other moms for what to do, what to wear, and how to act. Well, that's all well and good, but it's not me. I'm just trying to 'keep up with the Jones' - so to speak.

If growing up means I have to throw out all my funny tshirts, don some pearls, stop reading young adult books, and drive a minivan. I think I'll pass - except for the minivan. I really would love a minivan.

I want to be me. Maybe my taste and style will change as I get older, but for now I want to do what feels like me and enjoy it because someday I want Bree to be herself. And if she feels like she has to dress a certain way or do a certain thing, I want her to know that her mom was there, and her mom had the courage to be herself. However eclectic she may be.

So, yes, as a 25 year old wife and mom my tshirts will have characters on them. I will read Twilight novels and watch the movies repeatedly. I'll rock pigtails with bows on each tail. My socks will have polka dots, and my big plastic pink watch will never match what I'm wearing. I will dance around my house to no music. I will make everything into a song. I will call the people I love pet names that make no sense. And I will lounge around the house confidently and warm in my IU snuggie. And guess what?

I'm okay with that.

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

On a day all about love, I find myself reflecting on the royal law, by which I try to live my life: Love the Lord and love others as I love myself.

Today, I was wondering why it is God wants to love others as we love ourselves. As I was reflecting on it at Bible study, a thought occurred. We sure do love ourselves. I think about myself a lot. Sometimes I am not even trying to think about myself, I just find my mind wanders to things that are going on in my life, things I want to do, want to change, etc.

God didn't call us to love each other just like we love our parents ... Or our children ... Or our friends.

There's a reason God chose to say love them as you love yourself!

I wonder if it's because if we love people the way we love ourselves, it takes the focus OFF of us and onto others. We would stop dwelling on us and start dwelling on others.

Doesn't that sound like someone familiar?

By loving others as we love ourselves, we are being more like Christ and less like the world. The world tells us to think about number one, take care of yourself, be independent. Christ tells us to think of others. Love others. Show mercy. Show compassion.

I make a lot of allowances for myself to mess up, to make mistakes. Do I offer that luxury to others? I allow myself the freedom to mess up, and I forgive myself - heck I excuse myself sometimes! Do I treat others to the same freedom? Or do I tend to condemn?

This is a great quote from a woman, "Do you just want to be right? Or do you want to have a relationship?" Because sometimes we choose being right over our relationships. Sometimes we choose self righteousness over grace and mercy.

And that is not love, especially not loving others as ourselves.

Ponder how you love people today, and so will I.

WORDS

A self-created acronym of my lessons from James 22-25 this morning.

W - Written on our hearts, God has put His law in us and in our minds (Jer. 31:31-34; Ez. 36:26-27)
O - Our "doing" may not always be physical activity. (Romans 4:20)
R - Relationships are the goal of regulations. (Matthew 5: 3-10)
D - Deception enters when we only hear and not also "do." (James 1:22-24)
S - Satisfaction comes at the fulfillment of our original purpose. (James 1:25)

Kids These Days ...

While proctoring the ACT this morning, I had a few "Kids these days" moments in my head...

The best of which, I will share. They're too funny not to.

Girl raises her hand
I approach
Girl: What's this? points to "Number with area code"
Me: That's your phone number.
Girl: I already put that up here. points to "House number"
Me: That's your address.
Girl: Oh ... what's my area code?
Me: Blank Stare

Same Girl raises her hand
Me: Under my breath Oh Dear ...
Girl: What's this? points to "Social Security Number"
Me: Your social security number.
Girl: Looking at her form I don't have one of those.
Me: Blank Stare Yes you do.
Girl: I don't see it anywhere.
Me: You should have it memorized. It's kind of important.
Girl: Oh. I don't know it.
Me: I gathered that.

Same Girl approaches me during the break
Me: Under my breath Seriously ...
Girl: How many minutes do we have left in break?
Me: Points to clock/Blank Stare 10:25
Girl: Looking at the clock So, how many?
Me: 2.

I would love to tell you those were the only instances of "Kids these days" I had ... but I can't because it wasn't.

Three for Three

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (James 1:19, 20 NIV)

Yeah right.

But I'm working on it!

Thankful Thursday

Jesus, thank You for the following things (again, not in order of importance):

Your death, life, and saving grace;

Edy's Limited Edition Girl Scout Samoa Cookie Ice Cream;

Peanut Butter;

A wonderful husband, who beats me at Carcassone most evenings;

Oh, and this little thing ... who is NOT camera shy.

Progress

There are a lot of "things" accumulating in my life. A mixture of stress, lack of confidence, apathy, weariness, and a genuine feeling of being overwhelmed are just permeating in my heart right now.

I feel far from the Lord. I don't know why. I feel like I'm giving half of my heart to everything because I'm stretched so thin. I feel a general blah-ness that comes from not seeing the sun enough.

Then this passage comes to mind -- and I can fill in plenty for "THESE THINGS" ...

"No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us." (Romans 8:37)

I feel that. OVERWHELMING victory.

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

I want overwhelming victory, but I'm a work in progress ...

But God is not finished with me.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns (Philippians 1:6).

God will not abandon me.

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever--do not abandon the works of your hands (Psalm 138:8).

God will keep me strong.

He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 1:8).

Why I Hated the Hunger Games ...

I know. You probably think I'm crazy.

But hear me out!

The books were extremely interesting, and they were very well written. I fell in love with Katniss's character right away. Nothing gets me more than sacrifice for family. After finishing the first book, I had to see how it ended.

Boy, was I disappointed. (No, I will not be divulging any spoilers. Feel free to read on.)

After the second book, I was leery to continue but I thought, well it will all wrap up in the end.

However, the third book just got worse ... And worse ... And worse ... Until there were only a few pages left. I kept thinking ... Ok, time to wrap up!

It didn't. At least, not in a way that pleased me.

I can't stand books where the main character does everything they can to be a good person or do the right thing - and just keep getting screwed over.

This book had an opportunity to show a mass amount of people - especially teens - that there is hope. Yes, life can be hard. The world can be cruel and terrible. But, in the end, there can be hope. There can be good.

But there wasn't. There was death, murder, and betrayal - over and over again.

I wasn't looking for a cutesy ending. I think the nature of what was going on wouldn't allow for a "happily ever after," but there were two major plot twists near the end that really didn't NEED to happen, which is what I am most angry about.

Yes, angry. I was angry after reading them. I'm angry every time I talk to someone about them. Ask Brent.

I think the ending could have been written extremely differently and still had a lasting effect on the audience. It was much to dark, depressing, and macabre for my taste.

I'll stick to Karen Kingsbury, thank you very much.

Super Bowl ...

I wish I had been in Indianapolis today. It looked like one heck of a party.

Congrats to little Eli and the Giants for a great game.

On a side note - today Bree had her second tooth cut. It's no Super Bowl, but it to everyone in this house excited!

Goodbye, gummy grin! Hello, toothy smile!

Priorities.

Where are they?

I had a recent conviction in this area.

I was putting Bree down for her nap. She fell asleep, and I put her in her crib. I walked out the door and didn't look back. I went downstairs, sat on my couch, and I started to cry.

Don't stop here or else you will think I am just insane.

I'm not.

As I sat down on the couch to relax with Giselle (naps are our snuggle time), I realized if something were to happen to Bree while she was sleeping, I had spent the entire morning cleaning and worrying about my stupid house.

Don't get me wrong: cleaning is important.

But I was putting a priority on the look of my house rather than my adorable little girl.

When I should have been on the floor playing peek-a-boo or building block towers for her to knock down, I was instead worrying about laundry, the dishes, vacuuming, mopping, dusting, and scrubbing my house into submission.

Right now, Bree is my job. It might not be valued by society to be a stay at home mom, but it's what we chose. I chose to stay home so I could teach her, cuddle her, play with her, and show her LOTS of new things each day. I didn't choose to stay home so I could have an immaculate house. I would still be working if those were my choices: job or clean house.

Job.

But Bree is what I chose, and I need to remember each day that I chose her. And I need to re-choose her every morning, every time my dishes stack up, every time my table is cluttered. Because my house is not eternal. My stuff is not eternal.

My daughter's soul ... now that's eternal.

So where is my priority?

Right where it should be: gazing into the beautiful blue eyes of my extremely happy and silly baby girl.

Dear Bree,

I know you are very busy soaking up everyone's attention. That must be a rough life you have. I remember when it used to be mine. You know me, I am the one under the blanket on the couch. You always rip my blanket off me and laugh. I don't think it's funny.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I have made my peace with you being here. But please stop chasing me while I eat or taking my food from me. Our parents might think it's funny to watch you eat my food, but I dont. In the wild, that calls for acts of aggression. But when I try, you know who comes to your aide, and I get in trouble. I don't know why it's my fault. But it always is.

Also, I know my legs, eyes, ears, mouth, head, and fur LOOK like toys - but they're not. They are necessary to my survival, even if dad says otherwise. So please stop pulling, pinching, grabbing, or squeezing them. I don't like it. I would retaliate, but, as previously mentioned, you would only be rescued and I: in trouble.

I hear mom and dad talking about more of you. I surely hope not. One of you is enough.

I can only imagine I have a few good years left, anyway. They hardly ever remember to give me water and food each morning. They are too busy doting on you. Just let me live in peace under my blanket. Please.

Love,
Giselle

P.S. I will disregard all animosity if you start dropping food on the floor "accidentally" during meals. They think it's cute. I get food. We all win. Think about it.

Thankful Thursday

Thank you, Lord, for these wonderful things, in no particular order:

Our Keurig machine, even though it's technically Brent's;

a mild, almost WARM, winter;

a Walmart, Target, Sam's Club, and Hobby Lobby within walking distance;

Oh, and this little, happy thing ...

What's it like?

I've had a lot of friends wonder what my life is like.

The life of a stay at home mom.

It's a mystery unknown to many, but those who are in the same boat know all too well what goes on all day.

It's a glamorous life. I enjoy plenty of alone time. I shower each morning and dress in my prettiest outfits. I take plenty of time primping, meticulously styling my hair and applying my make up. I work out each morning and have a healthy breakfast. My day is filled with important household tasks that never go unnoticed. I, of course, make time for Oprah and Bon-Bons. I await my husband in my dress, apron, high heels, and pearls with a four-course meal on the table - with our nicest China set out, of course. I love my life.

Oh wait, no, sorry. That was a dream I had last night.

Mine is an unglamorous life. The only alone time I have is when I hide in my shower for 15 minutes while Bree plays in her bouncer watching Veggie Tales. Sometimes there's no time for a shower until after bedtime. I dress in the same outfit everyday. Jeans and a nursing tank top - it just makes life easier. Often, I will get thrown up on and change clothes multiple times a day.

For instance, yesterday I was thrown up on so I changed pants, and I was thrown up on again 5 minutes later.

My hair has made its peace with never getting attention. It's either in a pony tail or pig tails - I try to at least vary between the two. It doesn't matter anyway; it is seen as a toy however it's styled. Forget make up. The only work out I get is walking up and down the stairs changing poopy diapers and the new game of walking around the house holding Bree's fingers. Rather than toning muscles, I am developing scoliosis. I pray she walks soon.

I pretend the food I actually eat is healthy. For my sister's sake, I will leave out what my diet consists of. The only TV shows I watch are on PBS: Word World, Angelina Ballerina, or Peep and the Big Wide World. There are never any Bon-Bons - even though I keep checking my pantry hoping they just materialize for stay-at-home moms because that's all you hear about.

My husband comes home and asks how my day was and what I did. He falls asleep listening to my account of washing clothes, cleaning the fan blades, and dusting. He does take notice if there is a delicious meal prepared for us - because there's usually not. I fall asleep looking at the clock, counting how many hours of sleep I will get until 3 am, when it all starts over.

I guess the only part of my dream that was real is that I love my life.

I love the craziness. I love the new things I learn each day. I love the challenge to grow and become a better wife and mom. I am never without trials - giving me daily opportunities to show patience, grace, love, and kindness. I am always reminded of the blessings God has given us. I treasure the little things Bree learns each day. I anticipate my husband's return home because I love watching him give Bree a bath. That little girl loves her daddy, and that man loves that little girl. I love our nightly games of Carcassone after Bree is asleep, which is also when we eat cookies or ice cream or -let's be honest- both. I love my snuggle time with Giselle each night while I do my devotions and Bible study homework on the couch. I love crawling into bed with the man of my dreams and tickling him until he commands me go to sleep. I usually take this opportunity to practice my monologue, which is the first 20 minutes of the movie Megamind. I've got it down. Before I fall asleep I thank God for the life He has given me and pray I can appreciate it the next day in the midst of trial.