pride, calamity, and isaiah 47

there is nothing wrong with working out and gyms, deadlifts and sumo squats. but there is a temptation to fall into pride and vanity. it's easy to get swept up into it all. and i have been pretty open with how i have attempted to keep myself accountable.

well, friends, i started to slip. a few weeks ago i found out i hadn't won this contest i entered. and i took it badly. i had gotten my hopes up, and i had really thought i had a good shot. and when i saw the list, and my name wasn't on it ... i felt unimportant. it felt like i wasn't "big enough" to get noticed and get picked. i cried, guys, like ugly crying. and i texted a few people who i knew wouldn't judge me and told them my feelings. even though i knew it was stupid. it was just a stupid contest.

i was reading my Bible that evening and asking God for something. a word. a picture. anything. i just wanted to hear from Him. and i read Isaiah 47. i don't think i will ever forget isaiah 47. because trust me, if you want a word from the Lord you do NOT want it to be isaiah 47. it predicts widowhood, loss of children, devastation, calamity, etc. etc. Yeah. NOT COOL, LORD.

but it was eye opening. it was about a prideful queen. and it seemed God was gently (ahem) telling me that pride was seeping in, and i needed to repent.

so i did. i asked for forgiveness, and wrote out a plan. i needed to take a break from PDF "public displays of fitness" because somewhere in my heart it was starting to become more about being validated by others and less about the original goal: make small changes to live a healthy life.

that's the goal.

this is not my career.

i have a sister who owns a gym. she's a professional athlete. she makes a career out of fitness and provides for her family from it. she busts her tail everyday training herself and other athletes. she works harder than almost any other mom i know. literally from sun up to sun down.

karena and katrina created this fitness company. they made a career out of TIU and provide for their families from it. they spend probably way more hours than a normal work day training themselves and creating videos to train others. they work harder than almost any other entrepreneurs i know. day after day after day.

i'm just a regular person trying to make small healthy changes to set a good example for my family. i want them to know their bodies are important. what you put into them is important and how you train them is important. our bodies are our vehicles that get us through life. and just like we take good care of our cars to keep them in working condition so we can get from place to place, our bodies should get nothing less.

but this is not my career.

'yeah, but missy, what is your career?' we'll tackle that another day, friends. i'm just too tired from all those sumo squats this morning.

the Perks of being a No One

I want to be really clear about my motives for why I post and what I post. Cause I get it. There's a huge temptation to judge each other, envy each other, or make assumptions about people from social media.

I have approximately 80 followers. I'm a nobody in the social media world. But that's the point. 

I'm a regular person. I have kids who I adore but regularly disappoint. I have a husband who is my favorite person and yet argue with about some of the dumbest things. I don't clean my bathroom (or pretty much any room) enough. And I eat at McDonalds way too often for a grown adult.

I'm not here to make myself look good. I don’t want you to think I’m better than you. I'm here to be real. I want other moms to know that anyone can make changes. Big changes. Small changes. Whichever you choose. It's possible. 

For me, healthy living doesn't mean always counting calories. The only thing I count everyday is how many poopy diapers I change (because my record is 12, people). My nutrition plan is eating less crap and eating more green stuff. That's pretty basic. 

It doesn't mean a life at the gym. My life is lived in my kitchen. I clean it. I cook in it. I eat in it. I teach from it. I dance around it. Sometimes I even work out in it (if my rooms are full of sleeping small people). My gym is a Rubbermaid container under my couch. It can't get much classier than that. 

I post about fitness because it has changed me. I feel better. I feel healthier. And I never thought I could do it. And I don't want any mom out there who feels like 'I just can't do that' to keep believing that lie. Even the smallest change will yield big results over time. 

I believe in you, mama!

And just remember, you burn more calories doing squats with a 2-year-old on your back. So, there's always that.